


Lemonade

by BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam



Series: The Juice Box Chronicals [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 21:40:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29972673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam/pseuds/BitchYouKnowMaineisMyJam
Summary: Janus wants nothing more than to be able to help the light sides help Thomas, but he's going about it the wrong way. Light Janus angst and light Roman angst. Sympathetic dark sides. Remus is in this quite a bit so language and slightly disturbing imagery warning.
Series: The Juice Box Chronicals [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121915
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Lemonade

Janus had spent most of his life plotting and scheming. He was the embodiment of deceit and self preservation, it was his job. Lately, however, Janus was beginning to get tired of it all. Nothing ever worked out the way he wanted it to. They denounced him at the end of acting practice, they didn’t understand the point of the courtroom scenario, and this last time he messed everything up by lashing out at Roman. Honestly, what had he been thinking? Yes, he had gotten through to Patton, and most importantly Thomas, but he angered Logan by stepping in front of him, and drove Roman farther away from him. Not to mention that with Roman feeling so hurt by his comments, Virgil was basically inaccessible to him. If Virgil had been mad before it was nothing compared to how he felt now. Janus sighed as he dropped his head into his gloved hands.   
“What on earth am I supposed to do?” He grumbled to himself. There was a gentle knocking at his bedroom door and a soft, quiet voice asked;  
“Janus? Are you awake?” Janus smiled a bit at Patton’s voice.   
“Yes.” He replied. The door swung open gently and Patton came in with a small tray ladened with breakfast foods.   
“Were you up all night again?” Patton asked. Janus sighed.  
“I think you know the answer to that one, Pat.” He replied tiredly.   
“Goodness with all this talk about Thomas taking care of himself, you’d think you’d remember to take care of yourself too.” Patton said gently. Janus moved the papers off his desk as Patton put the tray down. “You overwork yourself.”   
“I agree.” Janus nodded. “I think I’m done with all of this.”  
“Huh? What do you mean?” Patton asked.   
“I mean I’m done with all these plans and schemes that don’t work.” Janus replied. “All they do is keep me up at night and hurt people I’m trying to help. I say it’s time for a change.”  
“That’s very brave of you, kiddo.” Patton gushed. “I think you’re right. There are plenty of ways to help Thomas that don’t involve locking yourself away and forgetting to sleep.” Janus nodded absentmindedly.   
“Thank you for breakfast, Patton.” He said.  
“Of course!” Patton chirped. “I love cooking for you guys!” Janus gave Patton a grateful hug before the sunny trait bounced off, presumably to Remus. There has to be something I’m missing. Janus thought to himself as he ate. Why is it so easy for everyone else to get their point across when I still haven't succeeded? I’ve tried to lead them to the conclusion themselves, I’ve tried the metaphors, I’ve told them outright clearly and concisely and still they don’t listen. What do the other’s have that I don’t? Then it clicked. It was as if all at once, some rusty cog in his brain that had been refusing to turn before suddenly loosened and finished a link. He rushed over to his bulletin board on Logan.   
Logan was the least listened to of all the light sides. Janus had long ago concluded that it was because no one could relate to him. He refused to show vulnerability and because of that, no one wanted to listen. Every time he tried to solve a problem, it was like he was saying he was better than them because he refused to admit he had problems at all to begin with. Janus turned around to face the board about Virgil. Virgil is a side that was always heard, but that didn’t mean they always listened to him. In fact, only Thomas did, and that was only out of pure biological impulse of fear, until Virgil had become a light side. He opened up and all of a sudden everyone tried to take his opinion into account and he didn’t even have to yell or teleport them or turn the lights out… for the most part.  
Roman’s board was the most cluttered of all. Everyone listened to Roman whether they agreed with him or not. Roman was always heard and never lost in the noise. Patton was more or less the same story as the fanciful prince. Even if their ideas were often shot down, no one ignored them, their points were always conveyed eventually, Thomas always listened to them, to a fault. What Janus was missing was appeal. He lacked the vulnerability, relatability, and realness to connect with everyone else. Realizing that, he could not feel more stupid. This whole time he fought to maintain an aura of aloof coldness and perfection when he had written just that very thing down as one of Logan’s weaknesses. If he wanted the others to listen, he would have to… he shuddered… open up to them.   
He dropped himself down into his chair and set himself to finishing his breakfast. Who should he talk to first, though? He almost slapped himself for even wondering that question. Gee Janus, he grumbled to himself I wonder which lightside you should talk to about your feelings? Roman? Virgil maybe? Oh definitely Logan. It’s not like Patton makes you breakfast every morning and is always telling you he’s always there to talk. Oh wow, this is such a hard decision. He finished his breakfast and snapped the dishes to the darkside kitchen. He decided to take a nap before he went to talk to Patton about- ughgk- emotions. He got up from his desk and changed from his shirt and cape to his favorite pajamas. A black tank shirt and a pair of very fluffy yellow pants. The tank was more comfortable to wear to bed, but Janus was cold easily so his bed was more like a nest of pillows and thick, heavy blankets. He practically burrowed beneath them and curled up, closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep almost instantly.   
When he awoke next, it was because he heard the sound of something being placed on his desk. He wormed his way out of the blankets in time to see Patton leaving his room. Janus leapt to his feet and trotted into the hall.   
“Patton~” He called. “ Would you mind if I asked you a question?” Patton stopped and turned around with a smile.   
“Oh of course, kiddo! Ooo, I like your pajamas.” He chirped. Janus had forgotten that he wasn’t wearing proper clothing and was suddenly very embarrassed, but Patton was smiling and didn’t seem to mind.  
“Uhm, yes, well, thank you… would you mind if we talked in my room please?” He asked.  
“Oh!” Patton said. “Of course sweetie!” Patton followed Janus back into his room, bouncy and sunny as always. “What’s up?”  
“I-” Janus hesitated, not exactly sure how to phrase his question. “Well, I wanted to know… how do I show everyone else that I’m… normal, I suppose?”   
“What do you mean by that kiddo?” Patton asked, tipping his head to one side.   
“I just mean that Roman and Virgil, probably Logan too, see me as unapproachable and cold and I want them to see that there are parts of me they can relate to.” Janus explained. Patton’s eyes lit up.   
“Oh that’s easy Janus! Well, I guess not easy, it will take a bit of time and you’ll have to show trust in them before they can show trust in you, but you’re already on a really good start!” Patton said brightly.  
“I’m sorry?” Janus said, confused.  
“You look really cool and mysterious in your cape, but wearing something less formal is a great first baby step to show everyone that you’re just like them!” Patton explained.   
“Oh… really? I see, is there anything else I can do?” He asked.  
“All you can do is try to get more comfortable around the others and treat them kindly. Everything should fall into place naturally.” Patton beamed. “I’m so so so so happy you’re interested in getting to know everyone else better! I can’t wait for us all to be the bestest of friends!” Patton’s cheerful reaction was all Janus needed to know he was going in the right direction.   
“Thank you, Patton.” Janus said softly. Patton giggled excitedly and hugged him again.   
“I’m gonna go see what Remus is up to.” He said brightly. Janus nodded as the moral trait bounced off.   
“Just like them.” Janus whispered to himself as he closed the door. He looked around his room, forcing himself to really see it as a whole for the first time. He grimaced. His bed clothes were wrinkled and twisted and falling off the mattress. The mattress wasn’t even fully on the bed frame properly. The carpet was stained with coffee in areas and his walls were barely visible under all his information and plans strung up around the area. His desk was also covered in papers and books and the floor around it was littered with crumpled papers. He sighed deeply. He really needed to get this all cleaned up. Thankfully, he could snap a lot of the mess gone, but first he wanted to eat. The lunch Patton had made was wonderful, as usual. He wondered to himself as he ate, why on Earth had he never thought of this before? Why try to force them to see things his way when he could show things to them through what they already saw.   
After eating, he set to work cleaning his room. It really was past due. He transported all the sheets, blankets, and pillow cases to his laundry hamper, empty because Patton had done his laundry for him yesterday. He picked up the outfit he had been wearing before he changed and tossed it in as well. He settled on snapping all the trash away, he didn’t want to deal with it right then. He took his bulletin boards down one at a time and compiled files on each of the sides instead, opting to keep the files in his desk drawer instead of all over the place. The room was already starting to look much better, and after making up the bed in black sheets and a yellow comforter it almost looked as though he’d been taking care of it constantly. He decided it wasn’t worth his time to deal with the coffee stains at the moment. He wanted to start patching things up with the other sides as quickly as possible, but he reminded himself that a stressed Janus was a bitchy Janus, so he decided to take a warm bath first.  
His bathroom was set up to be the most relaxing place it could be. It was lit in a soft, dim light with a sunken tub. The floor was black marble and the sink and counters were done in whte. The floor was heated and there were a few candles clustered on a little ledge by the tub. The air carried the constant light smell of lemons, which was Janus’s favorite part. He liked to fill the tub with vanilla scented bubbles with the lemon candles burning. There was a specific youtube playlist he played over the speakers in his bathroom whenever he was relaxing. It was called ‘You're studying in a haunted library with ghosts ( dark academia playlist )’. It was mostly beautiful piano and orchestral music with the sound of rain in the background.  
He soaked in the bath for quite awhile, listening to the soft trilling of the piano and the gentle patter of the rain. The violin of the second song was always his favorite. He only got out of the bath when he was afraid he would soon prune up. While he was looking over his clothing choices in his wardrobe, he thought back on Patton’s words. One phrase kept worming its way into his head. ‘Just like them’. He supposed Patton knew best about this sort of thing and he fully believed the moral trait would never steer him wrong. If being like the light sides was the way to appeal to them then that would be what had to be done. He searched through his clothing, trying to think of what was generally considered to be each traits’ best quality. Logan’s was intelligence, Patton’s was kindness, Roman’s was creativity, Virgil’s was his protectiveness. To transform himself into the perfect light side, Janus would need to find his best trait and zero in on it. Accentuate it until it was the only thing they could see… no, that wasn’t how light sides did things. He’d accentuate it until it was the most obvious thing about him. The only problem was he didn’t know what his best trait would be in their eyes, and choosing to model himself after one of them would make the other feel threatened and they would be less likely to like him. Then, another thought occurred to him. Why limit this new character to one trait when he could put in all the strengths of all the light sides? Intelligent, kind, creative, strong. With those thoughts in mind, he searched around for clothing to mirror the sentiment.  
He wasn’t the kind to keep clothing he wouldn’t normally wear, so really he only had variations on his customary outfit. Eventually, he realized he needed more variety in clothing anyway. He sighed and resigned himself to asking Remus for help. Remus could create things just as easily as Roman, but they tended to have… unintended twists. He put on a tank and pair of pajama bottoms again, sliding his feet into a pair of slippers. He padded across the hall to Remus’s bedroom and knocked hesitantly on the door. Remus pulled the door open dramatically and quite violently with a big smile on his face. His smile widened upon seeing Janus.   
“Jay-Jay!” Remus chirped. “What are you doing out of your snake den?” Janus tried to disguise his embarrassment, but he was fairly sure his human cheek was bright pink.   
“I was wondering if you would mind helping me expand my wardrobe.” He explained.   
“You mean making your closet bigger?” Remus asked, evidently confused.  
“No, I mean like new clothes.” Janus corrected. Remus’s smile expanded impossibly more and he started bouncing, making a string of strange and frankly concerning noises.  
“I love clothes!” He shouted excitedly.   
“You do?” Janus asked, surprised.   
“Yeah of course!” Remus pulled Janus into his room. “I mean just look at my closet!” Remus swung a nearby black and green ornate door open and Janus felt his jaw drop. Inside were racks and racks of beautiful clothes. Gothic ball gowns, sharp suits, cute cocktail dresses, hoodies, jeans, button down shirts with steampunk-like gear buttons on the cuffs, top hats with goggles and gears adorning the sides.   
“Remus, you made these?” Janus breathed.   
“Yeah obviously. Where else do you think I’m going to get a plague doctor mask with dicks embroidered into the sides?” Remus asked. Janus huffed out a humorous puff of air.   
“Nowhere, I suppose.” He replied. “But you could just summon them.” He added, noting the table covered in a sewing machine and fabrics in the corner of the room.   
“Oh yeah…” Remus said thoughtfully, staring off into the distance for a moment. He shook his head rapidly. “Making them is more fun though.” He grinned widely again. “Come on, come pick out clothes!” He grabbed Janus by the wrist and pulled him deeper into the maze of racks. “I used to have stuff organized by ike type and color and stuff but I stopped trying, but here’s the yellow and brown stuff!” The two of them skidded to a stop and Janus found himself looking around at hundreds of shirts ranging from a very light tan to bright yellow. He felt his eyes widen again to take in what he was looking at. He approached the rack carefully, almost afraid that it would fall over. He ran his hands over the fabric of the articles, noticing that most of them were very soft.   
“I don’t know what I’m looking for.” Janus admitted after a moment.   
“Ooh! Yay! Let’s play dress up!” Remus chirped excitedly. Janus was once again whisked away to another part of Remus’s closet where there was a mirror and a table.   
“How big is this place?” He asked, alarmed.   
“Oh, you know, like 3,000.” Remus answered.  
“Square feet?” Janus asked, astounded. Remus nodded.   
“Yeah, something like that. It might be bigger though, who knows.” Remus shrugged. “Wait here, I’ll be right back with clothes for you to try on. Remus practically floated away back into the clothes forest. Janus truly hoped he’d be able to find it in himself to be patient with Remus’s choices. He did ask for his help, after all, but he and Remus didn’t really talk all that much. It was unlikely that Remus would know what Jnaus would like to wear, even more so when Janus himself didn’t know what he would like to wear. Remus came sailing back after a moment with his arms laden with shirts, sweaters, and pants. He threw three articles of clothing at Janus.  
“Here try these!” He said excitedly. Janus snapped himself into the outfit. A plain, sunflower yellow button down with black buttons, a black satin vest, and slacks that matched the vest shade to a T. They were very nice and Janus liked them alot but it was not something that matched the character he was making. He looked back up at Remus and couldn’t bear to shatter his hopeful expression.   
“It’s excellent.” He said. Remus beamed.   
“Okay, try this next!” He tossed another outfit at Janus. He snapped himself into it, and had the other outfit folded carefully on the small table next to him. This one was a black turtleneck sweater with a single yellow stripe around the collar and a pair of black skinny jeans. Janus felt a smile tug at his features. “Mysterious and comfortable.” Remus explained.   
“I like it.” Janus told him. Remus smiled again.   
“Okay, this one’s a little out there for you but I think you’ll like it. It reminds me of the music you put on in your room sometimes.” The third outfit Remus had brought was a pale yellow button down tucked into a pair of high waisted, almost knee length shorts made from a thin, flowy soft tan material. There were also thin, white gloves and white socks that came up to just under his knees. Janus flushed pink. Remus grinned mischievously and snapped his fingers. A few new additions were made, in the form of a thin black ribbon tied loosely at the collar of the shirt, black canvas shoes, and a thin black belt around the waist of the shorts. Janus studied himself in the mirror for a while, acutely aware of Remus blatantly checking him out as he did so.   
“Actually,” He paused and turned to fully face Remus. “This is perfect.” Remus blinked as though surprised, then smiled more widely than he had the whole time. “Dark academia it is!” He exclaimed. “And by the way, you should wear shorts more often. You have a great ass.” He winked then skipped away, presumably to find more clothes. Janus looked himself over in the mirror again. With his hat off, his hair was all over the place, mainly in front of his eyes so he conjured a simple black ribbon, not unsimilar to the one around his neck, and tied his hair back into a very short ponytail at the base of his neck. Some of his hair was too short to be tied back, but those pieces were still rather annoyingly long and hung in front of his face.   
When Remus came back, he was holding several variations of similar outfits to the one Janus was currently wearing. Janus thanked him, and explained that he was behind schedule on an important plan, and even though Remus tugged on him and tried to distract him with a large number of other things- some made Janus want to leave faster rather than stay longer- he was able to make it back to his room in one piece. Remus, of course, having to slap Janus’s ass on his way out the door. Janus didn’t actually mind all that much, and he was pretty sure if he did mind Remus would stop. He didn’t seem like the type to be very respectful of boundaries but the way he acted with Patton was evidence to the contrary.   
Janus attempted to fix his hair better for a moment with no real improvement before he decided it just wasn’t worth it. He mentally went over his character traits again. Kind, intelligent, loyal, brave. He decided he had to talk to Roman first. If he could get through to him, just a bit, then the other sides would be more open to him too. If Roman forgave him, Virgil might briefly consider doing the same, and that would plant a seed. He could reinforce it by showing forgiveness far more often than he normally would. He could do this. He needed something to give to Roman when he came to apologise, the more dramatic and cliche the better. He definitely wasn’t about to ask for Remus’s help again, so he settled for summoning it bit by bit. He conjured up a dozen roses one by one, three red, three pink, three orange, and three yellow. He wrapped their thorny stems in a white cloth and tied it with a red ribbon. He felt considerably less energized after conjuring the pieces, but wasn’t tired.   
He took a few deep breaths, steeling himself, then sunk out to the lightside of the mindscape. He looked around the commons area, not seeing anyone. There was, however, a small, half-eaten bowl of potato chips on the table as well as a plate with a small half-eaten cookie that definitely had had at least another one on it. Janus smiled at the thought of Patton taking a break and using some time for himself. That side really deserved it. He made his way up the stairs, hoping that the light side was more similar to Thomas’s house than the dark side was. When he made it to the top, he was met with a hallway with several doors lining it. One was blue and covered in clouds and a yellow orb with sunglasses that was likely meant to be the sun. Another was simple, sleek, and black with a sign like the sort doctors have on their office doors. The top line read: “Logan Sanders”, the bottom read “Logic and reasoning.” Janus felt a smile tug at his lips. Logan was always so formula, the dork. The next door he came across was red with a large gold star in the middle and a golden handle. Janus knew he should be concerned about the little crack in the star, but did not have time to think about it. He took a steadying breath once more and knocked.  
The door opened, and it took all of Janus’s acting skills not to wince at the prince’s appearance. He had bags under his eyes which were rather puffy, his hair was an actual mess, sticking down to his forehead in some places and standing almost straight up in others. He wasn’t even wearing his prince uniform, he was wearing a red hoodie and jeans. Not even good ones, they were baggy and worn and distressed and not in the cute way. Janus smiled a weak smile and extended the roses, while sweeping into a small bow.   
“Deceit, what is all this?” Roman asked, suspicious. “Is this another devious, dastardly scheme?” But he took the roses anyway and Janus straightened up.   
“No.” Janus replied. “No more schemes for me, I just wanted to apologise.” Roman raised an eyebrow and Janus noticed just how much Roman usually put into his appearance as even his eyebrows looked disheveled. What was he supposed to say in this situation? What would Patton do? He would bring snacks and watch movies with Roman, there would be lots of cuddling. Not only did that terrify Janus, but Roman was not comfortable with him yet. Any of Logan’s methods of problem solving would be useless here. Virgil would also normally be helpless in a situation like this but since he was Roman’s boyfrie- Janus nearly gasped at the obviousness of it all. “My goodness, Roman, you really must have been working hard these past few days.” Janus said.   
“Well, yes, I suppose.” Roman replied, shifting slightly, suspicion evident on his face.   
“I can tell.” Janus said. “You always have been such a diligent and selfless side.”.  
“Well I wouldn’t exactly say that.” Roman mumbled.  
“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re far too humble.” Janus replied. Roman huffed.  
“Your manipulative lies won’t work on me anymore.” Roman scowled.  
“Roman, how could that possibly be a lie? Look at you, you’ve needed a break for quite awhile and still you’re working hard. You’re sacrificing yourself!” Janus claimed.  
“Well, yes, but-”   
“No buts, you need a day off. After all, it must be so very tiring being the hero of the mindscape 24/7, and we can’t have our hero collapsing of exhaustion on us can we?” Pride lit up Roman’s features and he straightened his posture. He was already looking more like the prince they all knew.   
“Well of course not.” He agreed. “But I can’t exactly take the day off.”  
“Oh sure you can. Why don’t you take Virgil out on a date in the imagination?” Janus suggested. “I’m sure he’d be delighted to spend some quality time with just the two of you again.” Roman beamed.   
“Of course! It has been quite awhile!” He waved his hand and the roses Janus gave him disappeared, but Janus saw them behind him in a vase on his desk. Roman’s face fell again however. “Oh but I couldn’t possibly accompany him anywhere looking like this.”  
“Not to fear, I’m here to help.” Janus proclaimed. Roman looked at him suspiciously. “Oh don’t be like that, your highness, self care is my specialty.” He said confidently. Roman smiled a bit unsurely.   
“I suppose it is.”  
“Think of me as your own personal fairy godmother.” Janus told him while internally rolling his eyes and ushering Roman back inside his own room. Roman positively beamed.  
“Very well then, where should we begin?” He said joyfully.   
“Your hair, darling, is an absolute mess.” Roman sat elegantly in front of a vanity and Janus picked up one of his combs. “Let’s start there.” After using a spray bottle and a few hair products, Janus was able to shape Roman’s hair into something reminiscent of what he usually wore it like. There was a bit of a swoop Janus couldn’t get rid of, but Roman seemed to be fond of it, so it worked out. After that, Janus slipped into Roman’s bathroom and found a litany of skin and makeup products. Upon bringing these out he told Roman, “Now darling, you definitely do not need makeup with a face like yours, but this is a special occasion so I thought it would be fun.” Roman was quite enthused and allowed Janus to do his makeup for him, which was surprising but definitely a step in the right direction. Janus always prided himself at being good at makeup, especially since in their teenage years when Virgil was at his strongest Janus used to cover up his scales with makeup and did so fairly well.   
After Janus helped him with his makeup- he went all out around the eyes, a cranberry red smokey eye and bold eyeliner. Roman carefully changed into his prince uniform, sash and all, but Janus still had some suggestions.   
“As absolutely wonderful as that outfit looks on you,” He practically purred “What if we added a little spice?” Roman tipped his head to one side slightly.  
“What did you have in mind?” He asked cautiously. Janus extended heis gloved hands to show off the new gloves Remus had given him. They were short and ruffled out at the wrist, elegant and flowy. Roman’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Yes!” He said excitedly. He snapped his fingers and Janus watched in exaggerated amazement as a soft white light wound around Roman’s hands, leaving the gloves in its wake like the animation of Cinderella's dress in the Disney movie. His eyes lit up again and he did a little twirl that of course resulted in a long, thin red cape draping elegantly down his back.  
“You look marvellous.” He told him. Roman smiled his bright, full, prince smile.   
“Thank you, ever so much, my scally godmother.” He said with a voice full of humour. “I feel like my old princely self again thanks to you.” He swept into a dramatic bow which Janus copied. “How can I repay you?”   
“Just enjoy yourself on your date, take him somewhere you both will be able to relax. That’s all I ask.” Roman practically floated out of his room and down the hall to Virgil’s door. Virgil looked shocked at Roman’s abrupt change back to normal, but took it in stride anyhow. He slunk back into his room for a few moments and emerged with fresh eyeshadow and hair that was just a bit more neat than normal.   
Since things went so smoothly with Roman, Janus decided to test his new character on Logan. Before he knocked on the nerd’s door he tried to think of the best approach. Logan’s very favorite thing aside from Patton or Crofters Jam was being able to be of help. He loved solving problems and always had to be the smartest in the room. Janus could play dumb and helpless- he physically cringed at the very thought- if that’s what he had to do to get Logan to like him. Maybe admiration would be enough. He certainly hoped so. He knocked on Logan’s door with baited breath. When Logan answered, Janus was unsurprised to see him put together as immaculately as possible. He was, however, surprised to see Patton in the room behind him, perched on a stool by Logan’s desk.   
“Oh, salutations Janus, I’m glad you stopped by?” Logan said.  
“You are?” Janus blurted without thinking. Logan raised an eyebrow humorously.  
“Yes, I am.” He nodded once. “I have been meaning to thank you with your assistance with Thomas refusing to take care of himself.” Patton visibly cringed.   
“I’m sorry Logie.” He whispered, looking at the ground. Logan waved Janus in as he crossed over to Patton and placed a chaste kiss on his forehead.   
“You already apologised to me several times.” Logan reminded him. Janus smiled again. “And I already forgave you.”   
“I know.” Patton sniffed. “I just still feel so bad. I shouldn’t have pressed skip on you.” Logan frowned in a concerned way. “I sure am glad you were there to take over Jan.” Patton sniffed again. “Otherwise things could have gotten pretty bad.” He turned back to Logan. “It was super smart of you to get Janus to help.”   
“It was with little thought, Janus was the obvious choice. Not only did he share my opinion more or less, but he’s easily my intellectual equal.” Logan explained. Patton made a very strange expression somewhere between an excited child that saw a puppy and absolute shock. Janus himself felt as though his jaw should have been on the floor at Logan’s words.   
“You- you think I’m your equal?” Janus asked, his voice barely above a whisper.   
“Well yes, of course. We disagree on more of your… emotionally charged views, but nonetheless you are clever and quick-witted. Though I will say, the Max Stirner gambit in the courtroom scenario was not your best work.” Janus barked out a hastily stifled laugh.  
“I agree.” He said with a small smile.   
“Hey Jan, are you feeling okay?” Patton asked.   
“What? Yes of course.” He said immediately. “Why do you ask?”  
“You’re acting differently. It’s not bad or anything, honestly I can’t even put my finger on it. Something’s just off.” Patton shrugged.   
“I agree, it is not characteristic of you to laugh off something like that without some sort of sharp comeback. Janus laughed uncomfortably.  
“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry, I thought you would have realised.” He said. “That’s a character I was putting on. I know, it was wrong of me, but I created a character to play that I thought would capture all of your respect. It didn’t really work out.” He sheepishly laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. Open. Honest. Vulnerable. They had to like him now.   
“I’m sure that’s the case, we all could tell.” Logan replied. A violent shock of ice shot through Janus’s body. “Just like we can tell now.”   
“And just like I could tell the you I talked to in your room is the real you.” Patton added. “And the you you finally showed to Thomas was the real you. So why don’t we talk again kiddo? What’s going on?”  
“I couldn’t posibl-” Janus began, taking a step backward.   
“If you are uncomfortable discussing matters in my presence, in which case I assure you I would not be upset, I am more than willing to work in the commons for the duration of your conversation.” Logan offered generously.  
“I’m sorry, what? Logan, this is your room and besides that, there’s nothing to talk about anyway.” Janus took a breath and put on a small smile.   
“I have a hard time believing that you were still just acting in your room. Come on kiddo, tell me what this is about.” Patton said softly.  
“There’s nothing to tell you about, you were the one who told me to do this Patton!” Janus huffed out a sigh.   
“Wait, what?” Patton tilted his head to one side.   
“Patton, you told him to lie?” Logan asked, clearly confused.   
“Nuh uh, at least I don’t think so. What did I say to you?” Patton certainly looked confused. Janus was starting to become very embarrassed. Had he misunderstood Patton? Were the two of them misunderstanding him? Had he built his character wrong? Either way he came out of this looking quite stupid. And he did not want to look stupid in front of Logan, especially after the nerd just told him he saw them as intellectual equals. But, communication was something the lightsides put a lot of stalk in, so it was something he was going to have to get used to fairly quickly.  
“I asked you how to get the others to like me more, and you told me to show them that I’m just like them.” Janus recalled. “So, I made myself like them. I put on a more approachable outfit and a more approachable personality but clearly I didn’t-” He cut off as he realised his voice was beginning to raise. “Never mind.” He finished in a huff and sank out, not minding that it looked like Patton was about to say something. Janus was beginning to get a headache, so he dimmed the lights in his room and took an ibuprofen. He was still very embarrassed at the events that had taken place a few moments ago, so when someone knocked on his door he opted to ignore them.  
“JayJay!” Remus sang from outside. “I know you’re in there.” Janus sighed and opened the door.   
“What, Remus?” He asked tiredly.   
“I made something for you!” Remus said excitedly. Janus blinked a few times.   
“You’re giving me more things?” He asked.  
“Yu-huh.” Remus nodded excitedly. “You’re moving in with the light sides so I wanna make sure you have lots of stuff for your new room!” He explained cheerfully.  
“Wait what? I’m not moving in with the light sides.” Janus said. Remus looked confused.   
“Huh? Really? What was all the lightification for then?” He asked.  
“What?”  
“You know, changing your clothes and acting like them and all that stuff. Isn’t this one of your dastardly schemes, hmm?” He drummed his fingers together like a stereotypical plotting villain and quirked his eyebrows up.  
“I- no. I just want them to- oh never mind, you wouldn’t understand anyway.” Janus sighed.  
“Why not?” Remus asked.  
“Because you’ve never cared what other people think about you.” Janus explained.  
“Fair.” Remus shrugged. “Anyway you can still have this. I did make it for you.” He flourished a paper in his hand that had not been there before. Janus picked it up and almost couldn’t help the smile that threatened to take over his features. It was a simply drawn picture of him and Remus. It was child-like in the empty simple smiles that held no real emotion, the basic stance, and the fact that the two of them were holding hands. If it had been a child’s work, however, Janus would have been concerned, seeing as Remus was depicted hiding a knife behind his back and was splattered with blood. The sun Remus had drawn in the corner of the page was screaming rather than smiling and Janus was fairly sure he looked more menacing in the picture than Remus meant to draw him. “This is for you to remember us, so you never forget who we are together.” Remus had the biggest and most innocent smile Janus had seen from him before.   
“Thank you Remus.” Janus said. “I don’t think I could ever forget you, even if I tried.” Remus’s smile turned to a shit-eating grin.   
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t let you!” He exclaimed. Janus huffed out a laugh. “Let’s go do something!” He said suddenly. “We haven’t hung out together in sooooo long!”   
“Well, I don’t really have anything else to do at the moment.” Janus sighed. “I don’t see why not.”   
“Yay! Let’s go finish my sock heels!” Remus shrieked jumping up and down. Janus barely had time to bark out a hasty and confused,  
“Your what?” before he was pulled away from his room and to the commons. Janus couldn’t stop himself from laughing when he saw the table covered in Remus’s creations. There were lemons with angry faces and forks for arms, a compact mirror lined with what he hoped were fake teeth, and a hotdog encased in either glass or epoxy for some reason. Currently, it looked as though Remus was working on making a pair of shoes. Unfortunately, he had chosen to sew sock parts to the outside.  
“Remus… why?” Janus sighed.  
“Just because.” Remus replied. “Can you hand me that thread?” He motioned vaguely toward the right hand side of the table as he got back to work on his absolutely disgusting creation.   
“Sure.” Janus picked up the thread and immediately wished he hadn’t, because moving it revealed another creation. Remus had made a tie fighter with Thomas the Train Engine’s face where the cockpit would be. Not the worst thing Remus had made, but close to. 

“I think you should talk to Patton.” Remus said out of nowhere.   
“About what?” Janus asked.  
“Your feelings or whatever.” Remus shrugged. “He’s good at that right?”  
“Well, yes, but why would you think I need to talk to him?” Janus asked again, handing the thread to Remus.   
“Cuz you’re being all weird and shit.” He explained. Janus scoffed indignantly.  
“I have no idea what you mean.” He sniffed.  
“Dyuh okay.” Remus said sarcastically. “So it’s perfectly normal for you to completely change your entire personality and try to turn yourself into a goody-two shoes marshmallow fucker?”  
“A what?” Janus sighed exasperatedly.  
“You know, a lightside.” Remus said casually. As he continued to sew, Janus noticed that there was something off about the needle Remus was using. It was a strange off-white color.  
“I already talked to Patton about all that.” He huffed. “That was his idea.”  
“No.” Remus said.  
“What do you mean no?” Janus challenged incredulously.   
“I mean you must have misunderstood him, snack mamba. Patton doesn’t tell people to pretend to be someone they’re not.” Remus shrugged. “This sewing needle is made out of a splinter of a human femur bone, did you know that?”  
“Well he did say so!” Janus argued crossly, ignoring the needle tangent. “He said that to get them to like me, I had to show them I was just like them!” As Janus finished his sentence, Remus burst into laughter.   
“You idiot!” He said. “He meant show the you’re a fucking person, not to copy them exactly.”   
“Well how the hell am I supposed to do that unless I act like they want me to?” He growled crossly. Remus reached across the cluttered table and retrieved an untouched lemon.   
“You like lemons, right Janus?” Remus asked. Janus rolled his eyes.  
“Sure.” He said. Lemons were actually his favorite.   
“Well then surely you like straight lemon juice.” Remus continued, squeezing the lemon over an empty glass. A surprisingly large amount of juice came out.  
“Well no, that’s too sour.” He replied.   
“Oh, it’s too sour? Well then I’m sure you like sugar water right?” Remus poured some sugar into another empty glass and put his hand over it. He then shook it around until the sounds of sifting sugar eventually transitioned to the sound of sloshing water.  
“I don’t think anyone likes sugar water, Remus.” Janus sighed.   
“Really?” Remus asked. “Huh, weird. But you know what you do like?” Janus eyed him warily, bracing himself for the punchline of whatever convoluted joke this was leading up to.  
“What?” He prompted. Remus poured the sugar water into the glass with the lemon juice in it and snapped his fingers, causing ice to fill the bottom of the glass.  
“Lemonade!” He said excitedly, handing the beverage to Janus. Janus took the glass, looking down at it, thinking over the conversation he had just had. It was as if everything ground to a stop and shifted before gears started turning again.   
“Oh.” Was all he said. When he put it like that, it made so much sense. Patton didn’t mean for him to go all the way from lemon juice to sugar water, he meant to just sweeten up a bit. “Remus, that was surprisingly wholesome.”  
“Well, I can have my moments.” He said. “Hey did you know that a guy named Steven Harper killed a baby and his uncle with poisoned lemonade in 1979 because the uncle got with a girl he liked?”  
“There it is.” Janus smiled and shook his head.   
“You should probably drink that before the ice melts.” Remus added.  
“What? Why?” Janus asked. Remus didn’t answer and instead started humming, returning to sewing the socks on the heeled shoe. “Remus, why? What’s in the ice?”


End file.
